It’s the end of the year, folks. Naturally my thoughts run toward self-examination. What worked in 2015? What didn’t?
What didn’t work:
- Working in the hospital. Too many computer modules required (in both clinic and hospital- same material, twice) to maintain my privileges. I spent all the time I allotted for learning more medicine doing required computer classes on what to do in case of fire or a bomb threat. I gave it up and will practice medicine only in the clinic. This is a loss but I think it’s time.
- Mummifying the chicken. It worked once when we did it in 2005, but it didn’t work in 2010 or in 2015, either. (After a week, my whole kitchen began to smell like rotting flesh.) It symbolized to me the need to let go of my second grade experience with Jonah and be in the school we’re in now with Phoebe.
- Not enough unstructured time outdoors. This is a symptom of the big kids’ lethargy. I’ve raised a bunch of homebodies. How to fix this? Not sure.
- We live in a country where a grand jury says it’s okay to shoot a child with a toy gun because he didn’t look like a twelve year old. I have a twelve year old. He’s big. It’s not his fault. His body is big, but he’s still a child. I don’t want to live in a country where it’s okay to shoot big children because they don’t look like children. (Or, like the shooter in Sandy Hook, because they’re small.) I don’t know what to do with that. I’m still listening and waiting, but I am at a loss for how I can change it.
- My exercise time. Last year, working out while the kids all swam in the afternoon, was great. This year one swam, one danced, and the other two expected me to entertain them (or pay them to entertain each other) while I drove from pool to dance studio and back. Fail. Also: all running with no strength training breaks me down. My brain doesn’t get any groovy feelings from doing my PT, but it’s necessary in order to keep running.
- Something is better than nothing. Small steps toward small goals. Small pleasures. They add up.
- The January Money Diet. A month with no unnecessary spending reset our ideas of wants v. needs after the indulgence of the holidays and gave us a head start on our financial goals for the year.
- Being bold and releasing my book. Now that I’ve stopped rewriting that story, I can work on the next one. Which begs the question: what figurative story am I still rewriting in my head instead of moving onto the new one?
- Persistence and embracing the awkward silence. I want to be a person who knows people who are different from me. But that means that when we get together, we are different. I have to listen.
- We have a really wonderful community here who showered us with love when Sam was sick and recovering. What a blessing.
- Taking more time alone/apart. I went away for a weekend with 3 girlfriends last January and came back encouraged and recharged. I backed off during the summer. In October, I spent my birthday weekend alone. Both my jobs (at home and at the clinic) require me to talk and listen and analyze and explain. I need more silence. I need less doing and more being.
What about you? What worked in 2015? What didn’t?