This was a trail run I did in Vail this summer… my best run in a long time (and since).
For example, take the BolderBoulder. I knew I had run 7 miles at a 10:40 pace. So I expected to run my 10K im 1:06. When I had to take nearly 2 weeks off before the race because of an ankle sprain and an episode of back pain, and then took a way-too-long bathroom break and a didn’t run at my personal best, I was disappointed with my time. Rather than thinking, “Wow– a year and a half ago I couldn’t even walk a mile without wondering if my knee would give out and NOW! Hooray!”, I beat myself up, thinking those extra 5 minutes were a sign of my weakness. Lameness. Lack of effort. (I could go on, but, well… I won’t.)
I just had a personal best in a 5K a month ago (running 10:35 minute miles) and then crashed (figuratively), before my Thailad trip with another week of back pain and no exercise. My first morning back trying to run, I realized that I torqued my ankle again and couldn’t even bear the pain to run. (I guess the back pain was so bad I didn’t notice that I sprained my ankle when I fell?) And I spent the first 10 minutes of my
run walk berating myself…
Until I stopped. I hauled my thoughts back to sanity and came to this conclusion:
Not every run is going to be a personal best.
Not every day at work– or in our home school– is going to be one I want to repeat.
I cannot spend my life functioning at my personal best– or expecting myself to do so.
Rather than turning a really good day (or good run) into the new norm, I need to recognize it for what it is: a gift. Not a new standard. Then maybe I can have a little more grace with myself and all that life throws at me.
Have you had a bad run recently that sent you into a mental tailspin? Or a good day that made the you resent what a normal day looks like? Please share.