Some of you may recall that my Lenten discipline was to be off the web for Lent. I had great theories that it would give me lots of time– margin— to spend reading scripture, being more attentive to my children and my family and my spirit. That I would come out at Easter better. Able to sustain a deeper level of engagement with ideas and people. I can’t say it was a rousing success.
Yes, I was off the web. In fact, I was so off the web that I missed the deadlines (at all three local rec centers) to register my children for spring soccer. Whoops. And I spent much of Lent sick with three different viruses in succession, and then knee surgery. Not much margin was going on.
And what did I discover about myself?
That really, I have a very short attention span. Yes, I had more little bits of time to spend in prayer and reading… but I don’t feel like I used them to their best advantage. I learned that my use of the web– reading blogs, occasionally (more often than I’d like) reading through random bits of gossip about people I haven’t met who star on TV shows I’ve never watched as if I were in some dentist’s virtual waiting room– is a symptom of my shallowness, not the cause.
I also read through the book of John. My friend Amy and I were laughing about the difference between how the gospel of Mark tells a story– just the facts, ma’am– and how John tells it is about ten minutes of standing time in church. And it turns out that my brain is much more of a Mark-fan than a John-fan. I’m not proud of this, but there it is.
But I’m trusting that God can take my weakness and use it for his good, even if it means some growing pains in the process.
On the up side, I came to the conclusion that this blogging space serves a very useful function for me. Thank you for visiting and sharing your thoughts with me. It’s a true encouragement to me, and I look forward to being here with you again.
(Don’t miss Jessica’s thoughtful post on what she learned during Lent.)
Learning As We Go 
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“That really, I have a very short attention span. Yes, I had more little bits of time to spend in prayer and reading… but I don’t feel like I used them to their best advantage. I learned that my use of the web– reading blogs, occasionally (more often than I’d like) reading through random bits of gossip about people I haven’t met who star on TV shows I’ve never watched as if I were in some dentist’s virtual waiting room– is a symptom of my shallowness, not the cause.”
I think it might be a loop that feeds on itself (just thinking about my own case, not yours) . . . I read easier things, and it makes me shallower, which makes me want to read easier things . . . I really feel like a big reason I fell down in reading Dante this year is that I’m just plain out of PRACTICE in reading hard things.
I still read what some people might call “hard things” (like Donne or Tennyson), but they’re the hard things I really, really like. When I get to something that I love, but only sort of like (if that makes sense) like Dante . . . I lose my breath and give up, leaning over with my hands on my knees, panting – just plain old out-of-shape.
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