Happy Valentine’s Day

How do we teach our children about True Love?

I have a few ideas:

  • encourage them to think of others first
  • love them unconditionally
  • love their father unconditionally
  • love with actions, not just words

Last week I spent some time with someone who has, after many years, realized that her partner doesn’t love her.  She is wondering if he ever did.

This is when I wish I could pave the way for my children: pick the perfect mate, the right friends, the safe road… but maybe that isn’t what God has for them at all.  And I’m back to square one.  Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat, afraid one of them is going to pour out her (or his) life on someone who doesn’t know how to love anyone but him(or her)self.

And then what?  Then I love them as they crawl back (hopefully) to self-respect and the love of One greater than we are?

A friend’s mother once told me that she prayed for her children that they would recognize Love when they saw it.  So maybe my four ideas aren’t so small after all: maybe as my children learn how TO LOVE, they will know when someone else is actively loving them (not just saying it).



3 thoughts on “Happy Valentine’s Day

  1. The other piece I consider is how to make sure they love themselves in the deepest, truest way–that way, they can recognize if they are not being loved respectfully, and have the courage to walk away, true selves intact.

  2. I think letting them see joy in a marriage is also important. Today we are celebrating Valentine’s together as a family – boys do something special for girls and vice versa. I’ve enjoyed thinking together with my daughter about how to show love to her brother/my son and her dad/my husband. We ended up rewriting the words to the Bruno Mars song “The Way You Are”…(something our Kid’s Club did recently after a bible study on friendship.) One verse goes… “Our boys, our boys – are gentle when our hearts need mending. Our boys, Our boys – stick by us when we need befriending – We’re so grateful and we love them more each day – and so we say….” Hokey…but I hope effective… 🙂 We’re serenading them after dinner (which the boys are cooking). Happy Valentine’s everybody!

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