Stay the Same

I’ll admit it: I don’t like change.  (I don’t even like good change.)

Sometimes I want everything to stay exactly the same as right now.

(May, 2007)

I’ve felt that way at every stage of my kids’ development: from that sweaty, sleeping-on-my-chest stage, to the laughing-as-they-nurse stage, to the every-day-is-a-new-discovery stage… I can totally see how I could become a have-a-baby-every-two-years mom.

(October, 2006)

Today, I love that my kids can fill an entire hour looking for a certain Lego piece, or making a dagger with cardboard and duck tape.  I am an expert in right now.

(April 2008)

And as much as I rejoice in my children’s development, I confess I felt really sad when they started kissing their own owies to make them better.  Or when I noticed their feet being too big to fit into those stretchy baby shoes.  Or when they didn’t need to me to wipe for them…

(February, 2008)

So I’m trying to enjoy right now, because it won’t last.  It’s not all beautiful, or even all fun… but I love it.  I’m trying to figure out how to keep up, how to remain an expert not in having-a-house-with-lots-of-small-children, but an expert in my family.  Whether that means Legos and lizards, or dancers and dinosaurs.